The good day continued...

My god, I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.

Therapy

Rough day at work? I'm here to help. The way I see it, you've got a couple of choices, either of which will help you rediscover your will to live.

1. Dirty Jobs- someone really does have it worse than you. Tonight's episode (animal rendering) made getting my &$% handed to me by a five-year-old seem like a stroll in a meadow full of butterflies and painkillers.

2. This guy's blog- brilliant:

"And it truly, no bullshit, saddens me to report that, not only do I travel the latter road, but I am in the far left lane with an E-Z Pass mounted on the windshield and the gas pedal pinned to the floor. And for that, I am sincerely sorry, because it would be so much better for me and my wife and my kids if my temperament was such that a surprise birthday adventure to CoCo Key made me say “Hot diggity damn! I’m loco about CoCo!”

There now, all better?

A good day, after all

GOD, it was one of those days. It went from bad to worse to "What was I thinking when I chose this job?" all before 11 a.m. I tried, really tried, to maintain good intentions, but they flew out the window when one of my students flipped me off and punched me in the stomach. I made the mistake of saying "Well, at least it can't get any worse." (I know, I know!). That's when projectile vomit spewed across our little circle of friends. By the time I got home, I had a tension headache. I remember thinking, "If I could just cry, I might feel better." But I was exhausted, my blood pressure was out of control, and I was pondering how peaceful it must be in solitary confinement.

In an attempt to get my mind off the day from hell, I plopped down on the couch with my laptop to surf the net. I missed the inaguration this morning, so I searched around for some articles about this historic day. That's when I found this picture.



And I lost it. I cried like a baby.

Today was a good day. Congratulations, Obama family.

Pure soul magic

Sunday night was one of the best nights of my life. Top 25, no doubt.

It was Eileen's birthday. Eileen is my psychic, intuitive counselor, spiritual rock star of a friend. She invited me (and Tara, who sadly couldn't make it) to her birthday party and burning bowl ceremony. When Tara had to back out at the last minute, I almost didn't go. Normally I don't do parties. I usually end up feeling awkward when I only know one or two people, and it's often hard for me to really be myself around strangers. Once I get to know a group of people, I'm very outgoing, but until then, I am pretty introverted.

So, I almost cancelled. But I had made enough pasta salad to feed the masses (and their extended families), so I did The Work. I got really clear about what I actually wanted. What I wanted most for my evening was to walk into that party, connect with lots of folks on a soul level, cleanse my aura, experience intense joy, and drive home saying "I'm so glad I went!"

This was a big shift for someone who has never had that kind of deep experience at a party. But I set the intention anyway, and off I went, pasta salad in hand (and looking pretty damn good, if I may say so).

Alright, so about the party. Take my intentions, multiply them by ten. That is what I experienced.

Everyone I met there seemed like an old friend. There I was, in a crowded room full of "strangers," and it felt like I was at a reunion (which of course, I was!). There was J, a woman my age who still had no clue what she wanted to do with her life (love that!), who has plans to travel to Hawaii to figure it out. There was P, a smiley lady in her 60's who turned out to be a key player in yet another dream of mine. (Part of my grant for Italy involves bringing an artist-in-residence into my classroom next year to teach my kindergarteners an art process. While I wasn't going to be too picky, I really wanted an A+ artist because we are an A+ school. Because they are so few and far between, I didn't really know if I could find one. P is, yep, you guessed it, exactly that. And she is every bit as thrilled about the possibility as I am!) Then, let's see, there was S. S was a stunningly beautiful woman in her 50's with whom I shared a really loving, positive conversation about the power of a broken heart. I am so very sure I know S from a past life, and I am itching to connect with her again. Oh, and T, the insurance adjuster/drummer who kindly brought me a reassuring message from one of my guides on the other side. And I can't use initials for these two- I met a man named Fronz and a woman named Elf! Seriously, that in itself tells you what a great party this was!

The highlight of the evening was the burning bowl ceremony. All of us wrote on an index card all of the things we were ready to release. Next, on a really beautiful piece of paper, we each wrote our intentions for ourselves and for the world in 2009. One at a time, we made our way to the fire. Eileen blessed each of us and helped us clear our chakras while T gently played the drum. Then we placed our papers in the fire and silently spoke to the Universe. The collective energy was so intense that I could feel my energy vibrating, literally buzzing, and it built throughout the night. We had to put on our coats because the strong loving energy had us shivering with delight, wonder, and delicious knowing.

Then later, after dozens of connections and aha! moments, yummy food and a birthday song, Eileen gave us her gift. As we rotated around the fire, she brought us messages from our souls, guides, and the loving Universe. When it was my turn, she tried to listen to my guides, but they were drowned out by the sound of many, many children- my students, all laughing and talking at once. Across the fire, a gray-haired man (another psychic, turns out) let out a deep belly laugh. He too was hearing my little ones. "It's like recess out here!," he yelled. I just chuckled- I truly do bring them with me everywhere! Finally Eileen was able to hear my guides who gave me some very good advice. It is very hard for me to "leave work at work." My thoughts are almost always with the little souls in my class- are they getting enough to eat tonight? Is someone tucking them in? Is someone at home telling them how wondeful they are? My guides asked me to end each school day by silently asking my students' guides to lovingly watch over them until they are back with me. Today, I did just that.

On the way home last night, I said it out loud. "I'm so glad I went. I'm SO glad I went!" It took me hours to fall asleep because I was still vibrating with postive energy. As I lay there, so full of joy I thought I might burst, I remembered that one of my intentions for 2009 was to tell soul stories by the fire with good friends. Every single conversation I had that night around the fire was a soul story, deep and loving and true. I will carry that night with me always, remembering us as we were, huddled together around a fire, our souls dancing like the flames.

The 2nd Dream...check!

First of all, let me just say...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I haven't even had time to tell you the third dream yet!

It's official- registration is complete, flights are booked. I am going to The School for the Work! For nine days! In March!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

God, it doesn't even seem real. I was working on my Italy grant (Italy is so seriously going to happen, by the way) in the school library when I got the e-mail. I couldn't open it fast enough, and then, there it was.

Full tuition, room and board. $5,000 paid in full by a scholarship. I don't even have to pay it back!!! I was totally going to pay it back!

Can you tell I am over the moon right now?

There are not words. Trust me, I have tried to find them.

*Laughing break- Just as I was typing this, fireworks went off in the sky behind me. I am so not kidding.*

So yeah, wow. 2009 really is going to be a joyful, adventure-filled year. I feel like my brain is still trying to catch up with the reality. 2009, so far, has been pure magic and happiness. Cheesy, okay, but the truth!!!

I am getting it, really getting it, that our intentions have incredible power. I believe with all of my heart that my dream came true because of the deliberate intention I set forth. There really is something to getting clear about what you want and being certain that it will soon manifest in your reality.

Tonight, I am celebrating me. I am a powerful creator.

I am a powerful creator!

(And so are you.)

xoxo

I triple dog dare you

Now the twist I promised yesterday...

Did you think of 50 things you do well? Fabulous!

I recently heard about this manifesting trick from Mike Dooley. It caught my attention, and it sounded fun, so here goes. We are going to rewrite our lists (still keeping all 50 things), and this time, we are going to add in the things we wish we were good at. For example, between "driving" and "spelling," I might write "taking amazing photographs." Maybe you want to be good at taking care of your body, or cooking healthy meals, or carving out time for friends. Make sure that whatever it is, it brings you joy when you think about it being made real.

When that is done, post it somewhere you will see it often. Mine is going on my nightstand so I can have a peek at it before bed. The "trick" is that eventually your brain will not distinguish between what has happened and what hasn't yet, and it will bring into your experience those things you added to your list.

Hmmm. Sounds intriguing right?

So go to it, and let me know how it goes. I am going to keep my list private. That is, until I see everything manifested, then I'll be back here to share it with you!

Till then, dream big. Love to all!

I double dog dare you.

Alright, listen. I struggled a bit with whether or not to post this entry. I didn't want you to think I was being selfish or self-absorbed or narcissistic or whatever. But I decided this is something I really need to do, so without further ado...

One of the reasons 2008 was such a difficult year is that I was incredibly hard on myself. In learning more about me, I had to take an honest look at some rather dark, unappealing places in myself. I went to those places where I was angry, or judgmental, or scared out of my mind. I tried to love those pieces of myself, and sometimes I succeeded; sometimes I didn't.

I know that as humans, we are all of it- the up, the down, the fat, the skinny, the angry, the happy, the accepting, the judgmental, the unconditionally loving, the terrified. I spent the last year seeking out the ugliest parts of myself and letting them teach me what I need to know.

One piece was missing. I didn't seek out the good.

As a kindergarten teacher, it is my job to find what is best in every child and show it to them so that they learn to believe in themselves. It is my job to look at the child who is misbehaving or not learning and find what is unique and perfect in them. At parent/teacher conferences, I always start the conversation by focusing on the child's strengths. Why then, do I not do that for myself?

I am convinced 2009 is going to be joyful, so I am going to have to do things a bit differently. For starters, I have made a list of 50 (yes, 50!) things I am good at doing (or being), both big and small. This was tough. If you had asked me to list 50 things I would change in myself, I would have put pen to paper and not stopped writing for about ten minutes. This took some real thought, and it meant being willing to be embarrassed at showing all of you the good in me. (Strange, huh?)

So this, my friends, is me tooting my own horn.

I am good at...
1. sharing soul stories with friends
2. finding the perfect gift (especially for Tara and Dad)
3. creating a fun, inviting, colorful classroom
4. teaching kindergarten
5. making unique connections with every family in my class
6. getting funding for classroom materials (4 grants funded in 4 months! Woohoo!)
7. cooking delicious homemade soups
8. driving
9. spelling
10. reading
11. finding common ground
12. seeing the good in others
13. writing resumes (for myself and others)
14. questioning false beliefs
15. making people laugh
16. storytelling
17. making children's books come alive with read-alouds (Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus is my specialty)
18. learning (about myself, educating children, the world)
19. typing fast (comes from the days of having to check people into the ER quickly)
20. seeing the humor in any situation (especially horrific dates)
21. honesty with myself and others
22. dreaming big (ITALY!!!)
23. planning trips
24. kissing (well, it's true!) ;-)
25. helping children learn appropriate behaviors and self-control
26. being grateful (LOVE to write gratitude lists)
27. challenging myself
28. having a very diverse group of close friends
29. creating romance
30. keeping a childlike sense of joy and wonder
31. lesson planning
32. taking time out for myself
33. appreciating nature
34. getting around new places
35. paying my bills on time
36. writing
37. remembering names, numbers, and song lyrics
38. writing letters to those people I love
39. winning word games (Wheel of Fortune or Mad Gab? Bring it on.)
40. forgiving
41. finding what is true for me without making someone else wrong
42. bringing people together
43. sharing
44. encouraging fellow teachers
45. remaining committed to my own growth
46. saying no to relationships (specifically, men) that pull me away from who I really am
47. remembering sign language even though I don't use it daily
48. taking responsibility for my part
49. caring for children
50. loving unconditionally

Now, I am challenging you. Let's make that a dare. I dare you to find 50 things you are good at- no matter how big or small. Maybe you are amazing at wrapping gifts. Can you make the perfect piece of toast? Do tell! E-mail your list to me at blossomingsoul (at) hotmail (dot) com. I will share it here if you want, or it can be our little secret.

Tomorrow, I will be adding a fun twist. Stay tuned for more, and in the meantime, pat yourself on the back.

Love to all!

;-)

Me at home, New Year's Eve.

Well, the Universe is listening. I asked for more laughter in '09, and last night I laughed harder than I have in a long time. It was a wild and crazy night of "Have you ever?" and "truth or dare" with good friends, topped off with a 2 a.m. water fight.

I also learned a very important lesson in the first 24 hours of 2009- my body at 27 is not capable of bouncing back like it did a few years ago. Wow.

I'm off to recover with a hot bath. If last night was a preview of things to come, 27 is going to be one for the books.

Love to all!