Moody

All right, every day ain't going to be the best day of your life, don't worry about that. If you stick to it you hold the possibility open that you will have better days.
Wendell Berry

I'm in a mood. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mood. In order for it to improve, I am going to need to do any or all of the following...

Scream obscenities.
Break some dishes.
Dive into a cold pool.
Jump on a trampoline (while wearing a sports bra, preferably).
Get an hour-long massage at my favorite spa.
Laugh really hard with Tara.
Watch Life is Beautiful and cry for hours.
Get lost in a really good novel.
Sit by a lake, all alone, with my feet in the water.

Enough about me. How are you? E-mails welcome.

On my way

When we are sure that we are on the right road, there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. We cannot take more than one step at a time.
Orison Swett Marden

Yes, I'm still here.

A lot of things are being put aside lately, this blog being one of them. I also find that I'm getting really sucky at returning phone calls, text messages, and e-mails. Oh, and did I mention that I got rid of my tv?

There is something so big happening here, and it is difficult to put into words. I don't know exactly what it is, but it is taking a lot of attention. I can feel myself growing and expanding into something more, into who I really am. I honestly can't say that I know where it is I'm heading or what it will look like when I arrive, but I can feel a loving Universe guiding me there...one small, sometimes messy, step at a time.

The past few months have been a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Tara put it really well tonight when she said that there have been really good days and really shitty days, but when those good days come around, they make it all worthwhile. I've had some amazing days lately, and some god-awful ones. As I sit here right now, I'm just so grateful for all of it. This all feels right.

Wherever "there" is, I'm getting there. I still stumble, I still resist (more than ever before, some days), I still lose faith. But in the quiet moments in between, I see the light of something big and beautiful.

If you wonder where I am lately, I am walking towards it, one step at a time.