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Monday, April 28, 2008

Celebrating the Middle (by Tama Kieves)

This resonated with me so deeply. I needed it, and I bet you do, too.

Tama’s Musings

Celebrate the Middle of Things

We live in a society where only “big success” is acknowledged. We don’t care about the small steps. We don’t hear about the stumbles. Yet it takes outrageous courage to be in the middle of your journey. The middle is where it’s at, baby.

Maybe you’re growing a new business, writing the book of your dreams, or healing from a necessary divorce. These are the times when alligators are nipping at your raw feet, the rain keeps beating down, the moon is fading, your mother is calling, and you wonder if you are going to age in poverty with hopes that never came true. Yep, these are the moments that need celebration.

These are the times we need applause and ribbons and massive hot fudge sundaes and witnesses to our magnificence. These are the times we must love ourselves through the hunger and exhaustion. These are the times when we must celebrate our courage, the power, belief, and stubborn pluck it demands to just keep lurching and wobbling forward.

Please give yourself the benefit of true perspective. Do not reject yourself for “not being there yet,” wherever that great “there” is for you. You are on the path. You are on the path. You are on the path. The path begins wherever you are, when you embrace your life with honesty, patience, and compassion.

Don’t join that dismal bandwagon of thieves, those silly addle-brained fools in the streets who only believe in the gods of People magazine, or the ones who believe that it’s more successful to just tack things together than to be naked on the path of pursuing your truth. Don’t accept the measurements of those who uphold flawed and obsolete standards. Do not borrow knowledge from the ones who do not dare. The ones who dare—absolutely know the pain of being in the middle of things. If you’re life is unsettled, imperfect, unpredictable, wild at the core, stuck, or yet to “come together,” congratulations. You’re one of the awakening tribe. You’re in the stream of being holy alive.

I spent 12 plus years writing This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love, without an agent, publisher, or writing mentor in sight. I spent years feeling bad because I wasn’t done with it. I watched others whiz by in their perfect neat lives, crisp definitions, and big fat paychecks and I felt foolish, foolish because I was in the middle of things. I faced self-doubt every day, but I chose self-love in the end. I decided to stay true to myself even if that looked as though I would walk for years through the deep blue sea. I wanted to follow my own instincts, hold my own hand, and see where that led me in the end. It’s led me here, a time in my life where I am so unbelievably grateful for all those essential “middle moments,” all those experiences that shaped me, fed me, grew me, and made me what I am—and what I have always been meant to be. In This Time I Dance!, I said, “It takes a hero’s journey to create a hero,” and I’ll say it again. Those middle moments are our ashrams, boot camps, graduate schools, and launch pads. They are anything but useless, empty, or ordinary.

The middle of things is where change takes place, where the great big barge of how things have always been turns around in the ocean and goes a new way. It’s slower than a long red light, but it doesn’t take place forever.

The real heroes are in the middle of things, sweating in the middle of the night alone, doubting the future, crying the tears of self-doubt, burning holes in the ground with their mad desire to flee. Celebrate these ones, the ones who are making choices right now that others will not see. Celebrate these ones who dare to make uncelebrated choices. Celebrate yourself, right now as though you are the biggest winner of all time, because you are dear one, you are. You are sticking with the wonderful and terrible confusion of creating an authentic life.

Bestselling author Pema Chodron, a beloved Buddhist nun, says, “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” And Deepak Chopra, tells us to look at times of process as “pure potentiality.” I think “pure potentiality” sounds like a destination spa resort, and so much zestier than a “big fat zero,” or “swamp.” I suggest you try on language like that that empowers you. Remember, those “pure potentiality” times are when we make our life’s most significant choices. It’s where we craft, envision, and realize our future.

This month I’d love you to truly celebrate the experience of being in the middle of things. Write yourself a letter of congratulations or buy yourself a small token of appreciation at this juncture, a totem of support. While you’re at it, celebrate someone else who is in the middle of their evolving lives as well. We all know someone in the thick of a break up, a layoff, an illness, or someone who had their manuscript rejected or their contract cancelled, someone whose circumstances are pushing them to a new and uncomfortable edge of being.

Let’s clap for all the winners, now, the winners who are on their way, the winners who are not yet recognized, the winners who are walking through the desert, the winners who are allowing themselves to win at last, and those who are even boldly allowing themselves to “lose,” because they know they will never lose by staying true to their souls.

I want you to know that I celebrate you all in my heart. I am so moved by your dogged steps forward, your hungry self-inquiry, your shaky new belief in possibilities and your emerging commitment to your own inspired life. You are the brave ones, the alive ones, the ones who deserve medals right now.

Yours in the dance,
Tama
Awakening Artistry
http://www.awakeningartistry.com/
Tama©Copyright 2007
Tama J. Kieves.
All rights reserved.

Everything falls apart

"Carolyn Myss, the medical intuitive who writes and lectures about why people don't heal, flew to Russia a few years ago to give some lectures. Everything that could go wrong did-flights were cancelled or overbooked, connections missed, her reserved room at the hotel given to someone else. She kept trying to be a good sport, but finally, two mornings later, on the train to her conference on healing, she began to whine at the man sitting beside her about how infuriating her journey had been thus far.
It turned out that this man worked for the Dalai Lama. And he said-gently-that they believe when a lot of things are going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born-and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible."

From Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott

My god, I am hoping beyond hope that the last sentence in that paragraph is true.

Let me just say, before I go any further, that I know all about the power of positive thinking and how one does not benefit from focusing attention on the bad stuff in our lives. I also know that my "problems" dim in comparsion to what much of the world's population live with every single day.

Still.

I need to vent.

This year has held some really wonderful surprises, like an amazing road trip with my best friend, a job offer from a school I've dreamed about, and many wonderful synchronicities.

It has also held some major shit.

I, like Caroline, have really tried to be a good sport about it, but there are days when I've looked around me at everything falling apart, and I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and scream at some imaginary enemy, "You win! You effing win! I give up!"

So, because my ego has wanted to do this for some time, and I'm not in the mood to argue, here is a sampling of what has happened since I vowed this would be my best year yet.

Someone hacked into my bank account and cleared it out.
My car was hit, and the guy gave me bogus insurance information.
I gained weight.
My roommate had a mental breakdown and made this house a living hell for about two months.
Then she packed up and left me with the bills.
(Just for the record, I highly prefer the latter.)
I started life coaching, and I had to stop after two sessions because my resistance was too intense.
Very painful, unexplained shoulder injury.
And last, but oh-so-certainly-not-least, a near-death experience. Not a peaceful, angels-singing, light-filled experience. A terrifying, panic-inducing nightmare.

So with everything in me, I am hoping and praying that something beautiful is waiting around the corner, that the light I see at the end of the tunnel is my soul and not an oncoming train.

Here's to something big and lovely. Thanks for listenin'.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

New soul

At a time when absolutely nothing makes sense, when I am full of questions and the answers elude me, these words make my soul feel understood. (Thanks, Tara.)

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit
bout how to give and take
But since I came here,
felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself
making every possible mistake
See I'm a young soul
in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit
bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love
is not always easy to make
This is a happy end
Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong
This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away.

("New Soul," by Yael Naim)

Sunday, April 6, 2008

A word of advice

If you find yourself having a hard time cutting back on fast food runs, follow my lead and rent Fast Food Nation.

Your addiction will be cured.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Movin' on up

Oh yeah, by the way...

I GOT THE JOB!

Hours after my interview, my principal called me from her home at 9:30 p.m. to let me know that I landed the job.

WOOHOO!!!

I am fifteen kinds of excited. There was so much synchronicity involved that it blows my mind. Oh, and remember the workshop honoring children that I passionately wanted to attend? My new principal is sending me to a weeklong session in June! That, my friends, has magic written all over it.

As I spoke with the principal and teachers, phrases kept popping up that made my soul want to jump with joy- responsive classrooms, multiple intelligences, art integration, creativity...

*smiles*

I am so grateful.

Body image laughs

Here is one of my new favorite things- a comical look at people's thoughts about their bodies. I love the hippo and the kangaroos. What about you?