Just a couple of thoughts

Okay, I actually just wrote a really long post about how crappy January has been and how I had pictured it going differently in my head.

Sigh. I deleted it.

What I really want to say is this- no matter how hard it gets, no matter what your ego would have you think, please remember one thing. You are pure magic.

Love yourself enough to create your own truth about yourself.

Live your life as the powerful creator you are.

You can do it. And so can I.

Love to all.

Solitude

You haven't heard from me in a while, I know. I'm not writing to apologize for that, but rather, to express a small part of what's going on over here.

I have felt a strong desire to withdraw lately, to spend my free hours in solitude. There is so much brewing in my mind and soul, and I want to give that the attention it deserves. I have big hopes and dreams for this year, and they are so new, I want to hold them and protect them. That's why I haven't posted them here yet.

I am hopeful, content, excited, and scared. It's as if I am a little caterpillar about to burst open into a big new life. Right now, in this moment, I am savoring the comfort and security of the cocoon.

I have so much to share with you, so many wonderful thoughts and ideas and dreams and stories. But for now, just know that as I quietly hold my dreams close to my heart, I am thinking of you and believing in your dreams too.

Love to all.

Final Thoughts on 2007

Inspired by Andrea...

I am proud of myself for the amazing inner work I have done this year. I am proud of myself for healing relationships with those I love. I am proud of myself for speaking my truth when it was the most terrifying thing to do. I am proud of myself for paying off some big debts. I am proud of myself for being gentle with myself. I am proud of myself for learning to accept my body. I am proud of myself for seeking my own answers. I am proud of myself for saying no to the things that didn't feel right, and for saying yes to the things that did. I am proud of myself for learning to take inspired action. I am proud of myself for listening to my inner voice. I am proud of myself for taking the time to get quiet and rest. I am proud of myself for taking a yoga class. I am proud of myself for teaching children how to read, for making learning fun, and for creating a colorful, exciting classroom. I am proud of myself for taking responsibility for what I create with my thinking. I am proud of myself for making time to nurture my friendships. I am proud of myself for being brave enough to forgive, heal, grow, and just be myself. I am proud of myself for loving in a big way.

I forgive myself for not taking care of my body well, for getting angry, for being impatient, for not doing it perfectly. I forgive myself for my messy closet, for not scrubbing the shower often enough, for the baskets of laundry that litter my floor. I forgive myself for neglecting some friendships. I forgive myself for saying yes when I meant no. I forgive myself for being a totally imperfect kindergarten teacher. I forgive myself for blaming others for my unhappiness. I forgive myself for giving in to the negativity and having some really shitty days. I forgive myself for watching really crappy television. I forgive myself for neglecting the things I love. I forgive myself for falling off the wagon, disconnecting, and forgetting Who I Am.

2007 was a year for going within, healing, and growing in some really big ways.
2008 is going to be a year of living from within and creating.

What will 2008 bring about in your life?

Love to all.

Time with Friends

My, my, my. I needed this break from school. It has been the busiest break I've ever had, and it has filled my soul with joy and good memories. I am so grateful for all of you. I needed each and every one of you to bring me back to myself after a chaotic semester at work.

Thank you,

Tara, for cooking a fabulous dinner and sharing a hilarious game of Pictionary. I love that you thought a sun with a down arrow would make me think "late night," much more so than a moon and stars. And your drawing of the Sistine Chapel was, well, inventive.

Chelsea, for driving down to catch up over dinner. I'm still not sure why our waiter whose name tag read "Keith" insisted on being called "B.J."

Davis and Tiffany, for attending the Christmas Disaster 2007, and for making everyone laugh so hard at dinner that the other diners started shooting us dirty looks. (Oh, and for the Build Your Own Boyfriend kit. Right now, Richard is dressed in boxers and cowboy boots.)

Mom, for our very untraditional Christmas dinner. Just for the record, I think chips and salsa beat out turkey and dressing any day of the week.

Dad, for insisting that it just isn't Christmas Eve without that special candle, and for digging in the attic until you found it.

Miranda, for crying with me over the most depressing movie of 2007. I may need therapy.

Allison, for great conversation over wine and beer at the Library. 4x4=28! ;-)

Erol, for sharing your beautiful baby girl.

Melba, for making my birthday celebration really over the top, and for keeping me supplied with Dr. Pepper and girl talk.

Love to all!

What I Learned in 2007

2007 was an amazing year. On my birthday in December 2006, I made a vow that 2007 would be my best year yet, and it absolutely was, in the most surprising ways. It was a year of immense growth and healing. Now I have decided that 2008 will be even better, and I think that is possible because of the things I learned in '07...

I am a powerful creator.

I don't have to do anything perfectly.

The best part of the Earth experience for me is creating, healing, and nurturing relationships.

We can be, do, or have anything we choose.

It is okay to have "off days," to feel pissed off or sad or depressed.

There is no one "out there," determining my purpose and my destiny. That has been left up to me. Gulp.

Everything we do matters in a way we may not see.

Laughter really is the best medicine.

The fastest route to healing is honesty with myself and the other.

Failing is part of the process; it is not the end result.

God's will for us is our will for us.

While your ideas may be different from mine, that doesn't make either of us wrong.

When I don't have something I want, it is simply because I am not allowing it.

The most powerful thing I can do is find my own truth and speak it out loud.

I believe in saying no to anything that doesn't feel right, no matter what.

If I am having to try to make something work, I need to let go.

God is not out there, God is in here.

The most empowering question I will ever ask is "What would love do now?"

If I am waiting for time to change things, I am not doing what is necessary to allow change.

I believe in taking inspired action.

The way I feel about my body is infinitely more important than a number on the scale.

Diets really don't work. Deprivation doesn't work.

Healing happens in pieces. Even when I think it is finished, it may show up again tomorrow.

I only want to pursue friendships with people who are honest, loving, and kind. I feel my friendships with people who are focused on pessimism and materialism fading away.

All of the answers are within me. If I feel stuck, all I have to do is ask for the answer, and it will come. Either I will remember, or someone will remind me.

Gratitude is powerful.

The kindness of strangers has me believing that the world really is going to be okay.

My power exists in this moment. Now is the time.