Letting love in

What love looks like. Two of my former students, May 2006.

A year and a half ago, I officially declared myself done with the dating scene. You might remember it.

Some friends raised their eyebrows, but I meant it. Looking back, I gave myself a big gift in giving myself some time off from being something (often, everything) to someone. I have learned so much in the months since, things that ironically have opened my heart to finally love again. Not in a guarded, keep-your-distance-because-I've-had-my-heart-crushed kind of way, but in a gentler, kinder, deeper way.

So now, that means doing something scary. It means coming back here and making a new declaration even though it scares my socks off. I haven't rehearsed this, so here goes.

I am ready to love someone deeply and unconditionally, to reveal myself fully, to see myself and another with the eyes of pure love. I am ready to share my life with a great man, not someone who completes me, but someone with whom we can celebrate our completeness as individuals.

So, about That Guy. I don't yet know his name, but I do know a little about him. He is a kind, gentle soul who is honest with himself and others. He can carry on a deep, meaningful conversation, but he also appreciates the staggering brilliance that is Dumb and Dumber. He takes responsiblity for his own happiness, and he is dedicated to his own growth. He is a real adult man, with a real job and financial security. He knows what he wants, and he creates it. He doesn't know all there is to know about the Universe, but he loves the questions. He also loves nature, laughter, children, and of course, me.

That Guy is the man who can be with me on my best and worst days, when things are happy and when they are a huge mess, and bravely love me just the same.

This kind of love takes courage. It takes someone who has walked through the darkness, who has lost and then regained the hope that the light of love would eventually shine. It may sound silly, but I'm getting a glimpse of something bright.