A few years ago, I visited a psychic. I was skeptical at first, but this lovely lady didn't take long to convince me that she was the real thing. I was struck at first by her warm beauty- long brown hair, soulful eyes, and a friendly smile. (She says that she has stayed young by taking her hubby out dancing once a week.) We met in her living room, amidst glowing candles, a ceramic Nativity scene, and Johnny Cash playing on the stereo. I told her my name. Both hands wrapped around a mug of hot tea, she tucked her legs underneath her, closed her eyes, and began a conversation that would change my life.
She knew details about my life that shocked me, none of those vague statements like "Someone close to you has died," or "You've been hurt recently." She knew my detailed family and personal histories, some things that I hadn't yet shared with anyone. She had a deep understanding of who I have been in this lifetime and who I hope to become. I felt my soul fluttering inside as we talked about God, my career, past lives, relationships, and of course, love.
She made several predictions and suggestions before asking me if I would like for her to channel someone. Now the real skeptic in me came out. Yeah right, lady. I figured, what the heck, let her have her fun.
What happened next has given me an inner peace that I carry with me to this day. She channelled my Papaw. If you've read my past entry about him, you know that he was my favorite person in this lifetime, one whom I miss dearly.
The moment she described him, I knew this was real. She described him exactly as he was in a photo I have framed on my dresser. She saw a big, tall guy in a worn denim shirt, dark blue jeans, and his signature frayed straw hat. She said that his presence was warm and she could feel him smiling. She asked him what he'd like to say to me, and when she addressed me as "Papaw's girl," my tears began flowing heavily.
The conversation was short but full of the deepest love I have ever felt. He kept calling me Sugar, which was one of his favorite ways to address me as a young girl. In the five minutes or so that he spoke through her, he told me how proud he was of me. He explained that he and I had chosen this family, and its challenges, for a very important reason that would be revealed to me when this lifetime is over. He told me to stop worrying about finding the right guy because he wouldn't let me choose the wrong one. (This made me chuckle as I remembered him threatening to shoot any boy who messed with Papaw's girl. I don't think he was kidding...)
He told me to focus on the simple joys in life, like walking barefoot in the grass and cooking a delicious bowl of soup when the weather turned cool. He told me that what I am doing with my life matters deeply in ways that I may not see. I asked his advice about a person with whom I was experiencing a lot of conflict, and he replied, "Sugar, give it up. That one ain't changin'." And he was right.
When she finished, she expressed how happy she was to have met such an amazing guy, and I thought about how many lives he has brightened. That conversation has gotten me through a lot of rough days since. When I feel very alone, I know that he is with me. When I go on a horrible date, I laugh to myself, thinking, "Nope, he's not gonna let you stick around, buddy."
Today was a really good day for me, one full of rest, meditation, and awareness. I cooked myself dinner, and as I took that first bite of delicious taco soup, I felt Papaw smile.
