Sicky

Hello. Glad you're here. I'd like you to meet someone.

Meet Whiny Lindsay.

Whiny Lindsay is sicky sicky sick. Nothing glamorous. Just the achy, sniffly, stuffy, barfy, run-of-the-mill, makes-you-lose-your-will-to-live virus.

I love my job. I love the little carrier monkeys I teach every day. But days like these make me wonder if I'm cut out for this job. Getting sick sucks.

I'm not sure how I pictured this weekend going, but it did not involve Puffs, Thera-flu, and begging God to make it stop.

I could tell you about the good stuff, about the ways in which I feel my life expanding, but that would really piss off Whiny Lindsay.

I am off to dream of a world free of germies and full of Paula Deen's mashed potatoes, massages by Matthew McConaughey, and snuggly pet hippos.

Ladies and gentleman, meet Drugged Lindsay.